It’s Ok to Say No

Saying “No” No story, just an update.

The past few months I have been learning to prioritize what I need to do versus what is all out there to do. How to say “No” is one of the hardest things I am learning to do. I am a giver, a helper, a fixer, compassionate, and want to make it just right for you. This year I made a commitment to myself that I would go back to doing what I loved full time – Real Estate. For the past 2 years I felt like I couldn’t give it my all as I had so many other responsibilities to attend to.

What I didn’t see coming was the sometimes extreme highs & lows of grief.

The past few months have been crazy – we’ve had a big shift in our seller’s market, buyers are coming out of the woodwork scrambling to find properties, meetings & events that we couldn’t do last year are bigger and better because we are all so excited to be back together again, summer has been dry, hot and busy; and amongst all this the highs and lows of grief hit.

It kinda feels like this: “Celebrate a milestone in your career, attend a beautiful summer wedding, enjoy a summer day with friends, drop down to tears that won’t quit for days (which is why I work from home a lot!) but you have a schedule full of appointments (which is a good thing), to making plans for the weekend and the rest of the summer.” (Wait! That was just this last week!!!)

Figuring out how to navigate this is really hard. I always thought I wore my heart on my sleeve and for the most part, I do. But I also find myself putting on a smile and doing what needs to be done first instead of maybe taking some time for just me and healing. I am a social person, I love the energy of being around people and sometimes that’s easier than staying home and focusing on myself – which is what I should be doing.

So this summer I did some of that. After weeks of deliberation, I said no to riding BikeMS – this would have been year 20! – but am continuing to raise funds for BikeMS ( I said yes to 1 music festival instead of 3. I’ve had to make decisions about spending time with family when work required my time and I have also said no to work when I could to spend time with family & friends. I have also just said “No” to everyone and just stayed home. Had a glass of wine on my patio, binged some tv, or read a book. Something for just me. Spending time alone in an empty house isn’t easy for me. I am getting more comfortable. Spending time with you all is so much more fun!

I have said this before and will keep saying it — “I am so very blessed with the people I get to call family & friends in my life!” Thank you for always being there, reaching out, and understanding. This journey of life is meant to be enjoyed but we have to respect what our bodies and minds can handle too. So I am learning.