The Monster Hiding in my Office

This week has been really tough.  The “funk” actually started right after Thanksgiving and I guess you can say it came to head this week.  Ever had that blister that you babied only to finally give up and pop it?  Then the area could begin to heal.  I’m hoping that this will lead to that.


This is one of my favorite spots in my home.  It’s even better at night.  It feels peaceful, calm, and I am able to relax here.  My home is mostly clutter-free and simple.  (If it sat on the counter too long it most likely went missing.  Gerry was famous for tossing things out!)  A monster moved in and took up residence in my office this past 12 months.  This week I decided it was time to kick him out!  Now – fair warning – this next picture is part of the process for eviction!  Not gonna lie – I am quite scared & embarrassed to put this out there in a public space…


This is my kitchen.  It has become a sorting space for 12 months of unattended overwhelming paperwork.  There are 7 file bins on the breakfast counter.  This was a system that was set up for me last fall and I failed to follow through.  Paperwork has always been my enemy.  Gerry took care of most of it which allowed me to be responsible for the little bit that I had.  Now that I have all the responsibility it got a little out of hand.  You may remember from a previous post the amount of paperwork I deal with is crazy!!  (3-ring binder just from the attorney.)  For the most part – everything has been managed but just not filed away.  And yes – I am the Queen of Procrastination!!

These piles have been growing faster than mold grows in a warm and damp environment!  The paperwork that went missing in June was under paperwork that needed to be filed last December.  What I didn’t realize at the time was how much negative energy these piles were emitting.  I no longer used my office – using my kitchen counter for Zoom meetings and all other work-related activities.  I closed the door and most days couldn’t even walk in the office as it was so overwhelming.  My kitchen has looked like this since Monday.  Each day I plug away at it bit by bit.  There have been tears of frustration, the joy of finding a much-needed spa gift card, the release of shredding and filling garbage can after garbage can, and actually many happy memories.  Some of this has been mindless as I chitchat on the phone with a sister in law, a good friend from across the country, and even a few clients.

I now know why this past week has been pulling at me.  The negative energy emitting from my office was taking over my entire home.  Now that it’s in my kitchen I can honestly say it’s worse.  But each day has gotten better.  Today was the final straw.  The 30-minute shower shedding tears (releasing negative energy) let me know that I can tackle the rest of this and I was on the right path.  I knew that I couldn’t move into 2021 without putting some of 2019 and all of 2020 to rest.  Years ago Gerry and I would clean out closets, junk drawers and other pesky hiding places the week between Christmas and New Years’.    It was our way of cleansing out the old and ringing in the new.  More recently it was the shifting of the file cabinets from one year to the next as we would prepare for the next year. More mini-monsters are living in my home but their squatting time is almost up. My master closet has become a freaky monster due to my relationship with online shopping this year — gonna blame that on the pandemic!  There are a few other monsters that started when we moved into our home and those need to be evicted in time.

It’s easy to let these monsters reside in our homes.  Negative energy is easy to ignore, especially when positive options are available.  Going out with friends, working from your favorite coffee shop, lunch appointments,  writing a blog post about it, procrastinating to go home, etc.  When you live alone it’s really easy to just let it reside there and ignore it.  Even when I have friends & family over, they never said anything like “When are you going to clean up that S***Show?”  “How can you sit on the couch when you know what’s behind that door?”  Now that I have started it and moved it into my kitchen I know that I can finish it, feel really good about it, and make a promise to never let happen again.  The amount of mental energy that this has tapped has been physically draining.  I look forward to the fresh energy my updated, clean office will release.  I look forward to working from home in my office.

What monsters are squatting in your home?  I challenge you to share here and then start the eviction process.  This has been painful, embarrassing, and healing.  But I know I will come out on top and so will you.  2020 has had a lot of negative energy, but 2019 was still the hardest year of my life!  I am challenging 2021 to be better and I am starting it at home, with fresh energy and fewer monsters taking up my space.