I’m sorry – long post, but Please read. It’s Important. (It’s also a little dry…)
📜Probate is the judicial process whereby a will is “proved” in a court of law and accepted as a valid public document that is the true last testament of the deceased, or whereby the estate is settled according to the laws of intestacy in the state of residence of the deceased at the time of death in the absence of a legal will. 📜
Many of you have been following my journey this past 19 months. I have a very earnest request to all of my family, friends, acquaintances, and all you know:
Please Please Please establish A plan, A Will, A Trust, A Beneficiary. Anything in writing. I don’t care if you think you have a little or a lot. Having a plan in place should something happen to you could save your loved ones a lot of extra stress, heartache, and honestly – money.
November 13, 2020. 19 months 7 days after Gerry’s sudden death, I signed what I think are the last of the probate documents. The documents from the last 19 months could fill a 3-ring binder. Some of those documents are just removing Gerry’s name from physical assets that we own, like our home. Others are documents outlining the value of all the assets at the time of his death. Some require decisions to be made before they can be drawn up. Nothing in this process is quick and easy. Then all the notices have to be published. We had assets in 3 states. We had to put a notice in each county where those assets are. Some notices go out to adult children of the deceased. Imagine explaining what these documents are to your grieving family members.
I am simplifying the process a little bit, but each time I received an email, letter, or call from the attorney, it was a little punch in the gut. Friday was one of the hardest of all the days. I was closing another chapter of our life together. This was another way of saying goodbye again and again. 💔
The weight of this process is unimaginable. First of all, you are dealing with this at the very beginning of your grief. The very next week after Gerry’s funeral, I was sitting in our attorney’s office taking notes. If it wasn’t for those notes, I would have no idea what I was to do. The tears didn’t stop. She was so gracious and patient with me.
Had we talked and planned this part of our future out, maybe the grief process would have been different. For the last 15 years, Gerry was the financial person in our marriage. I knew the basics, major decisions were made together, and I knew who to contact. But that was it. We had made uneducated decisions that put me in a bind for a short time. Had we talked more and planned properly, that would have and could have been avoided.
On the flip side of this – I have become stronger & more confident. I know I can make sound decisions. If I don’t have the answer, I am no longer afraid to reach out and explore the options. I do owe many thanks to business colleagues, business partners, tenants, & clients for their support, patience, and sticking with me. I mean — who sells helicopter parts & filtered ice/water? I’ve learned a little about both, along with our other endeavors.
Now that the probate process is complete, I can finally be the adult and follow my own advice. By the end of the year, my Estate Plan will be completed. We do not like to think about this stuff, but it’s a fact of life. We plan medical directives, decide to be a donor or not, (please consider) let’s plan our estates too.
Thanks for sticking with me on this post. I promise the next one will be happy, fun, and SHORTER!! 😂
Much love to all!! 💖
#MyRandomThoughts #ThursdayThoughts #RarelyonThursdaysAnymore
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Sorry – Everyone!! Not sure why the format is having such issues today.
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